People love to say they want deep love or Conscious Partnership...until love asks something HARD AS FUCK of them.

Here’s the thing:

Love isn’t hard to find.
It’s not even hard to fall into.
What’s hard is staying with *unconditional* love when it stops "feeling good".

Most people check out at this point.

The moment love asks something difficult of them, the moment it stops giving them what they want, the moment their ego gets triggered, the moment their partner lets them down, challenges them, doesn’t meet an expectation—they run.

They start picking fights just to create distance.
They start fantasizing about someone else.
They exit the relationship emotionally.
They cheat.
They scroll mindlessly for hours at night.
They numb out with alcohol, pills, food, porn.
They tell themselves, "This is just a phase, it’ll pass." or "This is just how marriage goes once you settle down." or "This is what relationships are like after 50."

And even worse—they stay, but they stay bitter. Resentful. Shut down.

Until months—maybe years—pass & they’re still pretending. Still lying to themselves...and to their partner.

Because no one ever taught us that real love is a [daily] spiritual practice. It requires constant growth.

Let's be clear: Devotion is not a DEATH SENTENCE.

Devotion isn’t about getting what you want in every, single moment in return for offering your love (that's a transaction).
It’s about 🔥letting love purify & refine you💎, even when it’s painful (to your egoic mind).

(Disclaimer, especially if this is new to you: This kind of devotional practice does NOT mean staying in abusive relationships. It's advanced for a reason; you need strong self-awareness, clear discernment & a solid relational foundation first.)

Because no one ever taught us what DEVOTION actually is.

I'm a love that never leaves. When I commit to love, my soul evolves."

This is the highest spiritual truth.
And an advanced spiritual relationship practice in Buddhism—not for everyone, but something you can choose, just like taking vows.

I do both.
I took my first set of Buddhist vows in early 2024.
And I’ve used relationship as a spiritual practice (a mirror for growth) for over a decade.

👉🏼 And here’s the deeper truth:

In Buddhism, our reality is coming FROM us—not at us.
Meaning: Our relationships are a reflection of our inner world.

For example: You don’t just “end up” in an intimacy-void or sexless marriage.
It’s the result of years of unconscious choices, avoiding truth &  suppressing what you really desire.

🔥 So if this is happening in your life, that means you have the power to change it.

This is the foundation of devotion—seeing yourself as the source of your experience, which means you have the responsibility AND the capacity to transform it.

Will everyone want to do this forever with their current partner?
Not necessarily.

Maybe the form of the relationship needs to change. (Read Part 2 for that - whether to Stay or Go)

But what you can’t do is pretend you’re powerless in your own love life.

🔥 Let’s get something straight—devotion does NOT mean staying in a dead or sexless relationship that isn't evolving, especially if you're over 50.

I’ve worked with men who haven’t had sex in over a decade.
Men who love their wife, but haven’t actually been in love in years.
Men who stay because she’s a good person, because it’s the right thing to do, because our kids are watching, because leaving would devastate her... and she'll probably never meet anyone else.

Meanwhile?

• They’re secretly fantasizing about another woman while lying next to their wife every night.
• They’re emotionally absent.
• They’re resentful as hell, but fake-smiling through it.
• They’re feeling empty inside, while calling it “commitment.”
• They’re having affairs… or considering one.

And I tell them the truth:

Guilt is not devotion.
Pity is not love.
Obligation is not integrity.

You want real devotion?
Then you have to stop lying. To yourself and to them.

Or maybe you're like many men who choose financial security over your soul’s calling.
Your relationship looks perfect on paper—stable, successful, no obvious problems from the outside.

But behind closed doors?
🚪 No intimacy & zero sex.
🚪 No felt spiritual connection, rooted in mutual growth.
🚪 No romantic partnership—you feel more like roommates or a business arrangement.

You keep telling yourself things like, "It’s fine. We have a beautiful home. We go on luxe vacations. Sure, we're both drinking too much, but nobody is saying anything. Plus, the kids are out of the house & the bank account is full."

But every night, you feel dead inside & invisible in your own life.

Laying in bed next to a woman who barely looks up at you from her phone, let alone touches you with desire.

And you know you've grown apart.

But you stay.

Because it's safer.
Because it's easier.
Because leaving means stepping into the unknown & facing everyone else's disappointment—even though you know in your soul it would be in the highest integrity for you to go.

💥 This is what happens when you mistake obligation for devotion.

The thing about devotion?
It will demand everything from you—the radical truth—before it ever 'rewards' you in the ways your ego expects.

If you’re waiting for your partner to suddenly change, suddenly meet you, suddenly become the person you need—ask yourself this:

👉🏼 Are they growing alongside you… or is the gap getting wider because YOU'RE evolving & they’re not?
👉🏼 Are you staying because you truly believe in your love… or because it’s easier than starting over?
👉🏼 Are you making excuses for why it’s ‘not the right time’ to leave… when you already know deep down it’s over (and been over for YEARS)?

Love won't ever ask you to shrink or play small.
It won't ever keep you stuck, numb or settling for mediocrity.

🔥 If you’re in this place, let’s get you rapid insight (my specialty). Book a Clarity Session and stop spinning in indecision.

💕Or, if you already know it’s most likely time to go, but need the strength & strategy to follow through, I have private mentorship spaces (for men or women) dedicated to Cultivating Conscious Partnership & Sacred Sexual Union:

👉 The Devoted Masculine: www.alisonlessard.com/tdm

👉 The Devoted Feminine: www.alisonlessard.com/tdf