Love is complicated enough as it is and that’s why when I began studying astrology, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and the answers I had been searching for on romance arrived in true divine timing. For years I struggled with attracting the same type of man (self-absorbed, selfish, narcissistic tendencies, difficulty communicating, emotionally unavailable, history of infidelity…any of these sound familiar?) and I was seriously, like DEAD SERIOUSLY, sick and tired of repeating the same cycle. I knew I deserved better, but I also realized there was nobody to blame; I had to step up to the Big Girl plate, assume full responsibility for my actions and work on my own issues before I’d get anywhere close to a healthy partnership. When I decided enough was enough, the Universe magically connected me with an amazing astrology teacher and I began using the cosmos as the primary method of healing my love life. Awareness is the first step in the healing process. Until we descend into our messy “basement” of bad habits and negative patterning (yes we all have some), we stay stuck on repeat. I knew my time had arrived to get my hands dirty, bust out the Kleenex and delve into my shiz headfirst.
Studying my own natal chart and learning about how I express myself in relationships has affected how I view love in a MAJOR way and also how I approach relationships in general, both romantic AND platonic. I was also able to see WHY I was repeating those unhealthy, unproductive patterns, what I needed to work on within myself and how to overcome these tendencies. And because the natal chart is complex and can’t be covered in one article, I decided to start with Venus, a.k.a. the Greek goddess of love and beauty in mythology, because in your natal chart Venus is representative of how you love and want to be loved in return. It’s also one of the indicators as to what type of partner you’ll be most attracted to instinctively. So let’s get to it, shall we?
Before we dive in, you’ll want to check the zodiac sign of your Venus. You can download a free natal chart
report via the link at the top of my homepage – Click Here to Get Yours. Once you’ve got your report, it’s time to get schooled.
Venus represents the energy of giving and receiving and its placement in the various elements (Air, Fire, Water, Earth) is expressed as the give/take of love, affection and sensual pleasures with others. The element + sign of your Venus represents the ways in which you express affection, caring and how you give of your feelings. Here is where you’ll see what types of experiences/expression will feed your need for closeness and help you to feel loved and appreciated.
FOR THE LADIES: Venus in women has to do with the female ego. A lady must experience the qualities of her Venus sign in order to feel feminine. It also shows how a woman gives/receives of herself in love and sex. Venus is typically more of a sexual indicator for women than for men (for Men, Mars + Sex go hand in hand, but we’ll get to that in another article!). Lastly, Venus will indicate how a woman approaches any relationship that may eventually lead to sex, as well as her platonic relationships.
FOR THE MEN: Venus for men is associated with love, romance, beauty and aesthetics – a.k.a. Images that are especially attractive or appealing to him. It describes the type of woman that erotically attracts him to her, that looks good to the eye (in his eyes), and turns on his more sensually-charged feelings. Venus also relates to a man’s ideals about relationships, love and sex. Venus isn’t specifically sexual for men (that’s what Mars is all about), but she does play a role in how men experience the whole game of love and attraction.
“FIZZLE” OR “SIZZLE” FACTORS:
*Fire + Air, Fire + Fire, Air + Air all tend to work well together; Fire and air cause each other to grow (air feeds fire and fire makes air expand). Both individuals value knowledge and experience but pursue them differently. Both deal with things intellectually, with different styles, but with a high potential for mutual understanding.
*Earth + Water, Earth + Earth, Water + Water all tend to work well together; Earth and water depend on each other for growth (think of plants in the soil). Together they make clay, the symbolic basis for life. They both relate to the world emotionally and personally, making interpersonal dynamics and relationship success high on the values scale.
VENUS IN FIRE SIGNS
Affection and appreciation are expressed with Energy, Directly and with Grand Gestures
In Aries: Expresses affection directly, impulsively, enthusiastically; loves new experiences + especially enjoys first stages of relationships; need for intimacy may be thwarted by self-assertiveness/demanding qualities; values independence in self and others; gives of self energetically/dynamically and responds to forceful release of energy from others; THINK: 5 min Quickies, Get it while it’s HOT
In Leo: Expresses affection warmly, with dramatic flair, with enthusiasm; emotions influenced by sense of pride and urge for recognition; gives of self with creative vitality and receives from others graciously and proudly; expressions of love are colored by generosity and loyalty; tend to be playful in love; may have trouble expressing deep feelings due to the need to be the center of attention or dominate the partner’s emotions; THINK: Loves Center Stage and Attractive Partners
In Sagittarius: Expresses affection freely and idealistically; restless urge to move onward; cannot feel restricted, needs freedom which may interfere with establishing close relationships; need to explore to feel comfort and harmony; attitude towards love is tolerant, open-minded, values honesty and may be so blunt it hurts the other’s feelings; THINK: Free Spirit
VENUS IN AIR SIGNS
Affection and appreciation are expressed through intense intellectual communication and a sense of companionship (Your Lover is also your BFF…mine is in Aquarius and my best lover’s was in Gemini, and it’s so true that we both needed a lot of variety, mental stimulation and a strong bond of friendship to keep us interested and in tune!)
In Gemini: Expresses affection verbally, cleverly, lightly, playfully; needs to talk about perceptions to feel close; emotions are constantly changing so variety and mental rapport are really valued; urge for pleasure is colored by changeable curiosity, talkativeness and being friendly (***NOTE: these people may be a bit TOO friendly and not always the most faithful – since they prefer variety so much, it often leads them into juggling more than one relationship at a time to keep themselves stimulated. I call them the Butterflies of the Zodiac***) THINK: Major Flirt
In Libra: Expresses affection with consideration, being charming and harmoniously; are big on fairness and balance in terms of giving/receiving; emotions are affected by a need to harmonize polarities; have a deep need for peace, tranquility and harmony to feel comfort and pleasure but this could lead to avoidance tactics when it comes to conflict or disagreements; need to develop relationships based on equality and cooperation in order to express emotions; THINK: Needs Balance
In Aquarius: Expresses affection freely, unconventionally, flirtatiously and experimentally; at times impersonal attitude can make this person seem cold or aloof; enjoys exchanges of theories, ideas and fantasies; love is colored by a need for individualistic freedom and a bit of rebelliousness; need to socialize with many different types of people to give fully of their emotions; THINK: Intellectual Stimluation + BFF Bond
VENUS IN WATER SIGNS
Affection and appreciation are expressed through emotions, through intuition and sympathetically
In Cancer: Expresses affection sensitively, comfortingly (like a mother), protectively, tenaciously; need to both nurture and be nurtured and to feel part of a family to be comfortable; prefers sharing energy in a close-knit group; urge for pleasure may be halted by moodiness, timidity or being overly self-protective; receptive and dependent qualities are always involved in feeling close to another; THINK: Mommy Dearest
In Scorpio: Expresses affection intensely, obsessively, passionately, with consuming feelings; urge for pleasure blends with compulsive desires (these people may be sex or substance addicts), depth and passionate emotions; giving and receiving generates a healing, transformative energy; social needs may be hindered by a need for secrecy or privacy and reluctance to trust people; needs to penetrate a person deeply with serious emotional power in order to feel close; these people when imbalanced may come off too strong or be controlling/possessive/stalker-ish in love; THINK: 50 Shades of Fatal Attraction
In Pisces: Expresses affection sensitively, compassionately, kindly and may over-give; need for magical, romantic harmony to feel loved but they may be vague with their desires, leaving them feeling vulnerable; they idealize loves ones and love itself; escapism and confusion may undermine the ability to give of self and to receive; feelings of closeness are influenced by yearnings of the soul and to mingle psychically with the other; they discover empathy by identifying with their partner’s emotions; THINK: Psychic Soulmates
VENUS IN EARTH SIGNS
Affection and appreciation are expressed tangibly, dependably and physically
In Taurus: Expresses affection steadily, warmly, physically and possessively; gives of themselves from inner resources and responds to sensual, deeply centered energy from another; may be reluctant to lose control which makes it hard to give of one’s affections freely; deeply appreciates the 5 senses, especially physical touch and feels connected in nature; values material comforts (it’s all about the Benjamin$$$$$), luxury and beautiful objects; loves living well and often focuses on material stability as the core point in life; THINK: Jay-Z/Beyonce or the Hoarders of the Zodiac
In Virgo: Expresses affection modestly, helpfully, analytically, dutifully and sometimes with petty criticism; decisiveness and their M.O. is colored by perfectionism and fine discrimination; strong action may be hindered by being too self-critical or OCD with the details; ability to work hard and with vigor; need to strive for perfection in order to feel successful or that they’ve achieved their desires; THINK: Mr. Clean
In Capricorn: Expresses affection with caution, seriously, authoritatively, ambitiously and with strong discipline; are careful planners, calculated and patient; physical energy and drive are often directed towards their personal, long-term agenda and goals (they want to be the BEST at whatever they do); steadily pursue their desires with no option of giving up through conventional channels; sexual urges are often self-controlled, but strong and earthy; really appreciate being with a partner that provides a serious sense of financial stability and often a seek a partner what that at the top of their mind; THINK: Work Before Play
Next up, we’ll tackle Mars and Cosmic Sex…and until then, go get your Venus on.
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*Reference: “Chart Interpretation Handbook” by Stephen Arroyo*